First off, take a deep breath, just because you want to travel and you have kids doesn’t mean your adventurous life is over. You had an identity before they came into the picture. Remember? Yes, those times were different, easier and even carefree (at least that’s how we’re going to remember it). However, making time for yourself without your family shouldn’t be impossible, it should be mandatory by the people who love you.
Often, with being a mom we have this thing called “mommy guilt” that stops us from doing things for ourselves. Definition says: Guilt a mother feels anytime she takes time to do something for herself, outside of work, that does not involve her children.
I don’t want my daughter thinking that parenting is a death wish or that I resent her because I couldn’t do anything for myself.
It’s hard being a mom right now, we have so many people telling us how to parent and what is right and wrong. Social media sort of sucks for that. I’m here to tell you, it’s okay to want to get away. Stop listening to other people and have confidence you can do it.
Here is my advice on pushing away the mommy guilt to travel.
Yes, love yourself enough to know you deserve a break. Everyone needs time for themselves. I love hanging out with myself. After coming home from my solo trips, I am a better mom, a better wife, a better friend. I feel rejuvenated. You need to take time for yourself. Don’t let negative people bring you down because they won’t take the leap and book a ticket.
Your family will be okay without you.
I know this may be hard to believe, but if you have a good husband/partner that will help with school, daycare, etc. you can do this. For one week or even a few days the world will go on without you. Have confidence in your partner that they will figure it out for you. Leave them detailed lists or check in every few hours, whatever it is, let them figure it out for themselves.
Ask for help.
If you have some badass friends or grandparents like I do, they don’t mind watching your kids for a brief period. Most people are so happy to help, you just need to actually ask for help. STOP being afraid. If you are worried about the negativity it will bring upon you then these people aren’t for you. Your friends will want to help because they are your friends… or your parents will help because they love you and your kid(s).
Stop living in fear.
Who are you afraid of? If it’s actually a specific person, other than your partner, don’t tell them you are going anywhere. It may throw them off guard, but come on, this isn’t about them, it’s about you. Get over your fears of judgement and live a little. Don’t have someone ruin your vibe.
Kids are kids…they adapt.
You aren’t abandoning them for weeks on end. I know my kid doesn’t love it when I leave, but come on just leave already. Luckily with video phones, texting and emailing, we can be in constant contact with them if necessary. Give them the option to “call me if you need me”.
I want my kid to grow up knowing it’s okay to do cool stuff and adventure around the world.
We know parenting isn’t easy, so taking a break is crucial. Don’t let the mommy guilt take over. You’ll regret not taking the trips as the kids get older. Stop living in fear and do your thing. Book the ticket.